Tired of Being Single? Here Are 9 Reasons Why You Still Haven’t Found Love

Adrianna Dela Torre
5 min readAug 2, 2021

Unfortunately, love is not a tangible object. We can’t just reach our hands to grab and take hold of it. Rather, it’s a feeling of shared intimacy — something we cannot see nor touch.

While some people make finding love and falling in love look so easy, others find the pursuit of love a strenuous endeavor.

Love is difficult to find.

If you’re one of the countless single men who struggle to find love, take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone.

And if you often find yourself asking why you haven’t found love yet, we may have the possible explanations you’re looking for.

Reason #1: You try too hard.

Some people have this belief that they need to work hard for something they want in life. But that’s not always the case when it comes to dating. When you try too hard, you risk looking desperate. And desperation does not look attractive at all. For most women, it can be off-putting and at times scary.

Instead of coming off too strong on people, you need to relax, enjoy the moment, be yourself, and act natural. Give yourself credit. You’re an interesting person. The right woman is going to like you just as you are, so you don’t have to try too hard.

Reason #2: You don’t know what you want.

You need to have standards and goals. When you don’t have them, you risk not going anywhere serious with anyone. You go on multiple dates and enter into a series of relationships only to find out that you’re not compatible.

You thought you’d fallen in love with someone. However, days, weeks, or months go by, and you realize it wasn’t loved, but merely an infatuation. It wasn’t meant to be. So you go back to square one, looking for love again.

If you’re sick of going through this cycle, it’s time to set personal standards and goals for what you want in a life partner.

Reason #3: You chase after girls who don’t want you.

Reality check: She doesn’t want you, so why are you chasing her? No matter how much you push and how much you try your hardest, if a woman is not interested, don’t force her to be.

Instead of scheming and manipulating a woman to like you, put your efforts to rest and move on to more attainable women who do like you. Have some self-respect. You are worthy of love. That being said, look for someone who values you rather than someone who runs away when they see you.

Reason #4: You’re dating the same type of woman.

How many times have you met a girl who you thought was the one, but just when things get serious, she bails?

You did everything right. Things were going smoothly. Suddenly, she ghosted you. She didn’t text. She didn’t call. It’s obvious, she doesn’t want to pursue a serious relationship with you.

If you constantly find yourself in this situation, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you are going after the right kind of woman.

Here’s a suggestion, why not go for women you normally wouldn’t date? You should give other people a chance, they might surprise you.

Reason #5: You’re too picky.

While it’s ideal to have standards and goals, you also need to make sure that they’re realistic and reasonable. At the same time, be flexible with your criteria.

Life is unpredictable. You don’t know for certain who and what you want. It wouldn’t be fair to limit yourself to a very specific and exclusive list of things you want in a woman.

Remember, the perfect person does not exist. All you can do is pick which aspect of a person is more important to you — is beauty more important than having common sense?

Reason #6: You still have to work on yourself.

If you want to attract a genuine romantic connection with the right woman, you first need to make sure that you’re emotionally and mentally ready for commitment.

Work on yourself. Become a person who’s worthy of being loved. Reflect on the qualities that you have and are yet to work on. Once you are confident and ready, it will show, and it will attract the right person.

Reason #7: You’re looking for someone to complete you.

You need to realize that you’re already complete. You don’t need to look for your other half. What you need to look for is someone who can make life more enjoyable and worthwhile than it already is.

Look for someone who adds meaning to your life, not someone who gives meaning to it — both are entirely different concepts. The first one suggests you were already whole even without them. The second suggests the opposite.

Reason #8: You’re not putting yourself out there.

Life is not a romantic comedy film where love falls miraculously on your lap. As great as it sounds, that’s now how it works. Finding love requires real effort. You need to put yourself out there. Meet and get to know people, like these guys:

The more you push yourself to get out of your comfort zone, the better chances you have at finding love. So don’t be afraid to join a dating site or go on an international dating excursion.

Reason #9: You’re not looking in the right place.

If you’re going to the same bar to meet women every week and still haven’t had any luck, maybe you should look elsewhere. Go to a new place that’s full of new faces. You’ll never know, you might bump into your soulmate.

You could also spice up your dating routine by alternating online dating with real-life dating instead of focusing on only one way of meeting people. Get creative.

What Now?

The next logical step is for you to change your approach to finding love. Focus on the things you need to improve. And when you’re confident and ready, you go back to looking again.

What’s important is you don’t stop searching until you find what you’re looking for. Someday, you’ll find her. For now, all you can do is look for her and be patient.

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Adrianna Dela Torre

Adrianna is a Professional Matchmaker and Relationship Counselor for latinlovemates.com.