Dating Latina Women: The COMPLETE Survival Guide
To be able to handle a passionate Latina, you need proper knowledge and preparation. Learn more on how to survive dating Latina women.
So you are planning to date a Latina woman. You’ve probably heard stories, read about them, or seen a video on Youtube. You might even have a Latina friend or two. You want it to be the best date you’ve ever had, but something is nagging you. Latina women have a certain stereotype. While not an end-all-be-all, you wonder if you have what it takes to handle such a woman.
They say experience is the best teacher. You’ve been on your fair share of dates. You know how the game is played and you have some skills. But this is different. Latinas are their own brand of women and will not back down.
Unless you want to be reduced to a whimpering excuse of a man so devastated, you need to be ready for what’s coming your way. Without adventure, there is no thrill. Without risk, there is no reward. Without compromise, there is no love.
So what exactly is this Latina woman, this mythical creature that puts the fear of God in many unsuspecting men? And how does one not only survive but thrive in the company of such an alluring being? Here is your dating a Latina survival guide:
Passionate, expressive, dramatic.
Telenovelas aren’t just TV shows, they’re practically documentaries. Latin men and women are famous for their passion. Just the way they speak rivals the best efforts of a seasoned Shakespearean orator.
They let their passions flow like wild, untamed horses, and when you are on the receiving end, it’s either great or terrifying. There is no in-between. In the bedroom, it’s the height of human experience. If she’s angry? Toss her a piece of chocolate and hide behind the walls.
The trick to surviving a passionate lady is to read her true intent. It’s important to keep a level head and learn not to take everything she says or does too seriously. Keep calm and be the yin to her yang.
She might punch you.
“Survival” isn’t always a metaphor. Latina women can get physical but don’t take it the wrong way. Think of them as kisses. To your shoulder. With her fist.
Latina women have very passionate ways of expressing their frustrations, and you just have to accept that being a human punching bag is therapeutic for them. Do your part. 30 push-ups a day should do the trick.
They can be LOUD.
Being expressive isn’t just about the tone of voice or the nuanced placements of accents. It’s about decibels.
When Latinas express joy, happiness, laughter, frustration, or pain, they project their voices in a manner matched only by trained opera singers. But think of it this way, at least you won’t have to ask them to repeat themselves.
If this character trait of theirs is an issue, don’t ask them to tone it down. Just smile nod in approval, and appreciate their zest for life.
Take dance lessons.
There will be days when you will be convinced that dance lessons at the local salsa club are more valuable than an engineering degree from Princeton. Latinas are musical creatures. They have the inhuman ability to move their bodies in perfect rhythm with any beat. When they do, it’s extremely sexy.
But when you’re stiffer than a wooden plank in winter, it might diminish your chances. Latin dance isn’t just dancing, it’s basically sex on the dance floor. And you don’t want to disappoint.
Sadly, dancing has been a terrifying experience for many socially awkward men. You may have had such an experience where you were left trembling, unable to tell right from left. Seeing sexy women on the dance floor, egging you to join them while you shamefully do nothing, accepting you will never find love.
The answer: lots of practice and experience.
Now, to be clear, you don’t need to be a pro. But taking dance lessons will help you gain confidence in your moves, and that’s the most important thing to have. Your Latina date will appreciate the effort more than anything, so never back down.
You date a Latina, you date her family too.
When you two do get dating, she will introduce you to her family sooner than you might expect. Understand that they are extremely close-knit, so your involvement with her is, to an extent, a family business.
Don’t let this worry you, just be respectful and do your best to gain the good graces of her mom and dad. In your quest of finding love, you may just end up gaining a whole new family and a whole barrio of friends.
She gets angry in Spanish.
You read that right. Even though she may speak fine English, Spanish is the language of her rage. She doesn’t have time to translate every curse word in her head. When she starts speaking Spanish to you, know you’re in trouble.
To survive this, just apologize. Innocence doesn’t matter. Just say you’re sorry, toss her chocolate and hope she gets back to speaking English soon.
She can get bossy.
Okay, so Latina women have a tendency to want things done their way. Unfortunately, when you’re dating a Latina, it doesn’t matter if you’re a general in the army or the CEO of a multinational. She will tell you what to do and you need to do it.
To survive this, never show weakness, even when you comply. Show her you’re still the confident man that you are and worthy of respect. She will respect you more. Although this doesn’t mean she won’t be bossy. She’ll just be respectfully bossy, and that’s totally okay.
Time and space revolve around her.
You need to understand that when you’re dating a Latina woman, your watch is never correct. Swiss movement? Flawed engineering at best. Time is only relative, and it’s only on time when she says it is.
To survive this, schedule meetups at least an hour before, and bring an interesting paperback. Remember, she’s not late. You’re just really, really early.
At this point you might be wondering if it’s worth it, dating a Latina woman and all. The answer is absolutely, and there are a thousand reasons why that is so. But remember, in the dating game, success is less about the person you date and more about who you are.
Here is some free dating advice: If you are decent, respectful, confident, and a man worth your salt, you should be able to hold your own no matter the person across you. If you can be the best that you can be when dating Latina women, then you don’t really need a survival guide after all, do you?
