“So when are you going to pop the question?” is what fathers say to their sons as a gentle way of urging them to go for it. It’s something your best friend might one day say to you as well.
From an outsider’s perspective, the people close to you can tell when you’re ready for the next big step. At least they think they do. You’ve been together for a couple of years and they see the way you look at each other. They’ve noticed how you’re both so happy together.
But how do you actually feel about proposing to your girlfriend? Has it ever crossed your mind?
The decision to propose to a woman for marriage usually comes in a flash. You wake up one day knowing you want to spend the rest of your life with her. The epiphany can come in one way or another, and when it does, it’s instantaneous.
For some men, it comes as an absolute certainty. There are zero doubts about it. Onto the battlefield! Let’s go out and shop for that diamond ring, asap!
Others wake up with a different kind of epiphany — the stark realization that it’s definitely not for them. She’s not the one, and it’s not her they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
“There just has to be someone out there who’s better meant for me,” they think to themselves. Or they just want to join the priesthood, who knows? Either way, marriage just isn’t in the cards — for the time being.
And then there are those guys who need but a little nudge. They see with their own eyes that the stars have aligned. But they aren’t sure. Such a big move scares them. But all they really need is a bit of assurance. A fair bit of wise counsel should convince them.
So for those looking for a sign from above, here are instead a few earthly signs you may want to look at first:
1. It’s on your mind.
The mere fact that you’re thinking about marrying this girl is a tell-tale sign from your subconscious. Your inner conscience is telling you one thing and one thing only — that you have got to marry this woman!
The fact is, you may be ready and all you need is confirmation. You’ve been asking yourself “How will I know when I’m ready?”
Here’s your answer: you most probably are. Assuming, of course, you are at least an average working man and not a complete wreck in life, then you’re ready.
Buying a house is a tough decision. Getting into business is a tough decision. Knowing which stock trade to pull off is a mind-beater.
But you wouldn’t even consider doing those things if you didn’t believe you were somewhat capable, or that they were worth the risk. Most homeowners weren’t 100% ready to buy a house, they just did. Most successful businessmen started from scratch, but they got started anyway.
Either one of these things ends up happening: you get analysis paralysis or you take action.
If you’re thinking about marrying her, but are worried about things not being ready or perfect, then think again. Or better yet, stop thinking. Just do it.
2. You have a solid job or career.
In marriage, handling finances the right way is half the battle. Having a livelihood is an absolute prerequisite to raising a family because that’s what marriage is about.
We can, of course, point out the obvious, which is that many couples marry without such solid footing. But the question is about readiness. If you can provide for your family, you are in some measure, ready.
You may be concerned that you don’t have enough cash to buy a diamond engagement ring. But then allow yourself to set your sights on the right things.
Women say they want diamonds, but what they really want is what diamonds represent — forever.
You are that forever. A steady job and a healthy attitude towards love and life are more than enough prerequisites for married life.
3. You have strong life goals.
There is a reason why women are attracted to men who know what they want and where they are going.
When a man has life goals, he really wants things that are long-lasting and permanent. He may want to have children, own a house, achieve financial success, and of course, marry his soulmate.
A man with strong goals can tread deep waters, weather strong storms, and survive the harsh conditions of life.
Reevaluate your goals. If you value things that are long-lasting and permanent, that require hard work and sacrifice, then you should be ready to live a married life.
4. You value accountability.
A man who accepts responsibility is a man worthy of that responsibility. That kind of man is ready for the bare minimum of hardships that life will throw his way.
That’s the kind of man who should be a husband and a father. His philosophy is to keep on driving, and if he goes off course, then he focuses on getting back on course.
This man is decisive. He makes decisions based on his values and good judgment and sticks to them.
Focus less on the weight of marriage. Focus rather on what fulfillment it can bring to your life. Be accountable for your life and things will turn out just fine.
5. She’s a keeper.
At the very point when you realize that she’s a keeper, you know your search is over. Stop fiddling around and don’t waste your time or hers.
Once you have found your keeper, understand just exactly how fortunate you are. People live a subsistence of going on dating apps for quick hook-ups, day and night swiping left and right for meaningless, cheap thrills.
Some people have zero luck — single and old. Which is about the same as being in a horrible relationship with an abusive partner.
But not you. You found the woman of your dreams, and she loves you more than anything. She has values as well, and she can be as tough as nails when she needs to.
You know she’s the one, but what’s keeping you? Your job, or lack, thereof? Unsure of where you are going in life?
When all else fails, SHE is the ultimate sign that you have a new life waiting for you ahead. Don’t ever waste that chance.